January 2011
123 posts
18 followers? That works out at about 6 haiku's
Maybe I’ll write them tonight, maybe I wont Who knows? Enigmatic is my middle name
Jan 31st
This town 'aint big enough for the two of us
Due to my huge feet and abnormally large ego And this lovely novelty sombrero I have on 
Jan 31st
I need a title, but can't think of one
I can’t decide what I disliked the most about the hospital. The hour of waiting around between blood tests The needles of stabby-ness Or the weird feeling of having my arm injected with what felt like popping candy (excuse the Americanism, I forget the English for that). I’ll post something of notable worth later, for now, I’m napping
Jan 31st
It's a shame I don't know any Christians
And I mean those proper Christians, the ones that  actually follow the bible. Not those poncy ones who pick and choose which bits they like I think it’d be really interesting to get their story The whys and whats of their faith. I know to many of you, you think I’m a little bit too obsessed with this whole religion thing. Well, if I’m wrong, you can laugh when I’m in...
Jan 31st
“Don’t pray in my school, and I won’t think in your church”
– Unknown Author (via ageofreason)
Jan 31st
172 notes
I love watching Derren Brown, and knowing he does...
Makes me feel proper magic, ya’ know?
Jan 31st
Apparently
According to my research, in Britain, it’s perfectly normal, and completely acceptable, to replace Mr. with Esq.. Therefore, I shall politely ask to be known as Alexander Lawrence Thornton, Esq. Because, let’s be honest, “Mister” is very inferior compared to “Esquire”. Makes me sound like a knight, you dig?
Jan 30th
Dum di dum dum
I’m tempted to rope someone into my insomnia tonight Distract them till 3am, that sort of thing Because the internet is a terribly lonely place at the early hours of Monday morning. On a more encouraging note… I think I’ve lost my PS2, so maybe some work will actually get done this week. But there are so many robots/aliens/nazis that need sorting out, they can’t go...
Jan 30th
Dying of boredom
Will be past tense if something interesting doesn’t happen soon
Jan 30th
Golly gosh I'm bored
I’m sort of dreading tomorrow. I have a hospital appointment tomorrow, with a doctor I’ve never had, with a test I’ve never had before, nor do I know at all what it is. I don’t know what will happen. Bah, I hate being ill 
Jan 30th
Bored y'all
Might pop into Bournemouth and do a little photoshoot for graphics But I reallly can’t be bothered
Jan 30th
Noone seems to get as excited about videogame...
Jan 30th
Jan 29th
Tumblr is for homos
Which, you know, in such an accepting culture of sexual variation, isn’t really that bad
Jan 29th
Decided against early night
Chose to have a long shower instead.
Jan 29th
To have an early night, or to not have an early...
That is the question Whether ‘tis nobler in the mind to suffer The slings and arrows of outrageously late night Or to take arms against a sea of insomnia Bitch, I am Bill Shakespeare   But sleepier 
Jan 29th
Squish is coming over, and we've only got 60...
I urgently need to run to tesco to top up on supplies, he and I go through so many cups of tea and biscuits. Nomnom
Jan 29th
Jan 28th
1,016 notes
HAS ANYONE ELSE READ THIS TOTAL BULLSHIT?
icemakesyoumelt: Teacher Katharine Birbalsingh said she is in favour of scrapping the payouts as they are contributing to a “gimme, gimme, gimme” culture among young people. “Teachers have to instil in children a sense of responsibility where they’re working hard,” she told Boulton & Co. “In an age where there’s a real sense of entitlement we need to work against that.”  This is why we...
Jan 27th
1 note
Chow time
Jan 27th
Hello, I'm Alan Partridge
I fear that we are in need of a new word to describe this mood I’m in. It’s like being tired, but I don’t want to sleep. I’m not exhausted, but moving is beyond me  I just want to lay perfectly still, in a perfect temperature room, in perfect silence, and for the world to stop. It’s times like this where I think of those of you who sleep on a regular basis, and...
Jan 26th
Everyone keeps posting about cups of tea
And it’s driving me insane, because all we’ve got in this house is that skanky Tetley tea shit. And it’s vile. If someone would kindly drop off some Yorkshire Gold, then I’d be so gratefully appreciative. 
Jan 26th
Jan 26th
aravenclawandawritingdesk asked: Let's go hunt some demons and shit ;D
Jan 26th
Season 3, episode 1
Let’s do this
Jan 26th
Goddamn it Lily, making want to start watching...
Jan 26th
“Men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for women. They’ve...”
– Rita Rudner
Jan 25th
“I don’t have an Achilles heel. I have an Achilles body”
– Woody Allen
Jan 25th
2 notes
“When I hear someone sigh, “Life is hard,” I am always tempted to...”
– Sydney Harris
Jan 25th
2 notes
“I get into bed, turn out the light, say, “Bugger the lot of them,”...”
– Winston Churchill
Jan 25th
“Either this man is dead, or my watch may have stopped”
– Groucho Marx
Jan 25th
“No human being believes that any other human being has a right to be in bed when...”
– Robert Lynd
Jan 25th
“I envy people who drink - at least they know what to blame everything on”
– Oscar Levant
Jan 25th
“When ginger people are above a certain social grade, their hair is auburn.”
– Mark Twain
Jan 25th
2 notes
“A lawyer will do anything to win a case. Sometimes, he will even tell the truth.”
– Patrick Murray
Jan 25th
“The difference between light and hard is that you can sleep with a light on.”
– Anon
Jan 25th
I'm gunna go on a quoting spree
I do love my quotes
Jan 25th
“What if we are created 5 minutes ago, with ready-made memories, with holes in...”
– Bertrand Russell
Jan 25th
1 note
Jan 24th
*dies*
Jan 24th
1 note
I realise that I haven't made any long ranting...
Whilst I’m sure none of you miss them, I’m gunna explain where they went I made a second tumblr, which noone follows, and I intend to keep it that way I now rant there, where noone can hear me Most excellent /billandtedreference 
Jan 23rd
I feel super proud and smart
I beat my 8 year old bother at chess without losing any pieces. I AM A GRANDMASTER
Jan 23rd
Sometimes I really hate QI
There are many things that I know, and they’re oft just trivial things that most people don’t pay attention to. But then they’re mentioned on QI, and now, instead of being praised for my wealth of lovely knowledge, I’m accused to memorizing TV quizzes. For example, the most recent episode, they talked about loads of things I know Ahem Longest recorded chicken flight: 13...
Jan 23rd
I just looked at my dashboard, and noticed a most...
All my friends have hipster blogs Oh shi-
Jan 23rd
4 notes
I'm not the kid who'll steal your things, I'm the...
Getting my haircut soon, any suggestions would be lovely
Jan 23rd
One day, someone is going to say something...
But it wont happen for so long, I’ll never live to see it It’s really upsetting
Jan 22nd
Don't worry, your hate for them will only last as...
And everything will die Which sucks, I wouldn’t mind living for the entirety of existence When I told someone that I wanted to live forever, they said that I’m an idiot, and that I’d get bored. That seems to be everyone’s argument against it.  But think about it from a different point of view. Would you rather be dead, never to rise again, your existence erased for...
Jan 22nd
My littlest sister just peered over my shoulder at...
Due to the lack of numbers in the questions, she thought I was doing english What am I doing with my evening ¬_¬
Jan 22nd
Turns out The XX and The Decemberists are the most...
That, and the overwhelming sense of dread I feel towards the exams Bah
Jan 22nd
Here's a better idea
Stop talking and let me punch you
Jan 22nd